[Fanfiction] your sanity is but on the tips of your fingers

Title: your sanity is but on the tips of your fingers

Author: Vianna Orchidia 

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs
Character: Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya

Rating: T
Genre: Humor, Romance??
Disclaimer: Bungou Stray Dogs is property of Asagiri Kafka and Harukawa Sango. I do not own the series and the characters, and I do not gain any profit from this fanfiction

Warning: Post Guild arc with no Fyodor arc. My friend said this is full of innuendos tho I don't see where??? Repost from my AO3.

It was only ten in the morning and Chuuya was already fuming inside his office. He had several reports from his men he needed to go over before the lunch meeting, and he had planned to do it last night—that is, until a damn annoying bandage-wasting device showed up on his doorstep and practically put his plans into flames.

Ever since the incident with the Guild half a year ago, Port Mafia and Armed Detective Agency had been on a truce, however strained it was, and Dazai had been taking advantage of it to ruin Chuuya's daily peace. His ex-partner now liked to visit his apartment every now and then, sometimes bringing dinner over but most times he just ate whatever food Chuuya had. (Chuuya had learned to cook for two, after the umpth time he had to go to bed with half-empty stomach.)

Last night was no different. The suicide maniac came barging in, spouting nonsense about how the man-tiger finally found his wits and asked this girl on a date, how the creepy siblings was found making out in the closet (again), how the sadist doctor got a bouquet from a secret admirer, yadda yadda. (Chuuya was not paying attention! He just couldn't help but take in some information because the bastard was talking right in front of him, across the dining table, with this huge cute grin on his face, okay?) And in the middle of debating about the pros and cons of 9 mm Beretta, Dazai's hand was suddenly on his cheek, pulling him in for a searing kiss.

Needless to say, Chuuya didn't get any work done for the rest of the night.

Not to mention, he woke up with a lingering ache in his limbs, making it even harder to leave the bed.


Last night was good, Chuuya begrudgingly admitted, but he didn't need it in times of urgency! Now he had to skim-read everything, marking and taking notes, sometimes correcting things in lightning speed. He hated this. He liked to do his job properly, with enough time, so he could deliver the presentation perfectly to the boss. Damn that bandage-wasting device. He's so gonna sock him in the eye the next time he see him, maim him with his precious knife, then throw the body to the nearest garbage can.

Glancing at the table-top clock, Chuuya realized more time had passed and it's nearing lunch time. He needed to leave now to make it to the main dining hall in time. However, before he could grab all the documents and place his hat atop his head, a familiar ring cut through the silence of his office. It was the ringtone. Chuuya clicked his tongue in annoyance. He briefly contemplating leaving his phone alone just to make sure he had his sanity intact during the meeting, but ultimately deciding against it because sometimes, sometimes, that Mackerel did message him for something important. It might be another call of distress camouflaged as a flirty message, like the last time Akutagawa decided to challenge the man-tiger, and Chuuya had to drag his unconscious body back to Port Mafia base because Dazai's an asshole.

Yes, there were important times like that, so Chuuya picked his phone up with great reluctance and glared slightly at the blinking message notification. “You better make this something worth my while, Mackerel.”

He swiped the lock screen.

And immediately regretted his whole life.

There was a simple photo of Dazai holding out one of his hand, curving the fingers so that it resembled the shape of a half-heart, with a caption 'Finish the heart'.

Chuuya tried his best not to activate his Ability and crush the phone in his hand, because damn he actually liked that phone. It didn't deserve the destruction meant solely for Dazai! Barely containing his rage in, Chuuya quickly did whatever popped up in his mind: taking a selfie with his middle finger raised high for anyone to see, and sent it straight to Dazai. For better impact, he added a line of text, all in capitals, that read 'FUCK YOU'.

Hovewer, Chuuya forgot one little thing in his hastiness in dealing with Dazai's nonsense. He forgot the bastard didn't know any common sense, much less shame.

He was reminded about this the hard way, because Dazai immediately gave a short reply.

'Yes yes fuck me hard ♥'

This time, his phone did not escape his wrath-filled fist.